


rise up

by Pandastuff101



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Hardly any fluff, Lams - Freeform, M/M, otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-17 14:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10595496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandastuff101/pseuds/Pandastuff101
Summary: <<well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I've built my life around you. but time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I'm getting older too>>





	1. <<1>>

**Author's Note:**

> <<trigger warning: domestic abuse>>  
> CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH

I noticed how you winced when Hercules patted you on the back.

It was just a light pat, but you winced.

You didn't think anyone would notice, or maybe you thought no one cared. I did.


	2. <<2>>

Today you came over to my dorm and cried, saying that Thomas wouldn't hang out with you anymore. You said it was your fault, and he wouldn't be distancing himself from you if you had just done what he asked and went to the bar with him and his buddies.

I let you cry into my shirt, and you apologized when you saw that it was damp.

I didn't mind, Alexander.


	3. <<3>>

You've had a lot of 'accidents' recently. You brush it off and say that you fall out of bed a lot, or bump into chairs, but I'm not sure. 


	4. <<4>>

We've been best friends since your transfer in junior year of high school. You can tell me what's going on.  


	5. <<5>>

So...you weren't in class today. Neither was your boyfriend, Jefferson.

I don't think he's good for you. Laf says I'm just jealous, but that's not it. You're just not right when you're with him.


	6. <<6>>

You had to go to the hospital today because you broke your nose falling down the stairs. Herc drove us there, and I held your hand as the doctors set it. You had tears in your eyes, but you bit your lip and didn't let them fall.

I don't think you can break your nose falling down a flight of stairs.


	7. <<7>>

We met in the office of our high school. I was in there because Lafayette had convinced me to start a food fight, and you were there getting a schedule arranged.  
You were in all my classes.   
You laughed when you saw me, dripping with mystery meat and applesauce.   
“My name is Alexander Hamilton, I just moved here from the Caribbean.”  
I remember grinning.  
“How exotic of you.”  
The joke didn’t even make sense, but you laughed anyways. And I think I fell for your laugh first.


	8. <<8>>

You seemed happier today, even with your bandaged nose and bloodshot eyes. You were really excited because it was date night for you and Thomas.

Today you also came into my dorm in the middle of the night just to lie down next to me. You didn’t say a word, you just came in and fell asleep. I put my arm around you, and you were quaking.


	9. <<9>>

I pulled you aside after class to try and figure out what was wrong the night before. 

“It’s nothing, John. Tom and I just got into a small fight.” you promised.

You tried to pull away, but I grabbed your wrist.

It was so thin my hand wrapped around it completely.

I wanted to ask if my suspicions were right. I should’ve asked if you needed help. And, gosh, it looked like you wanted me to ask. But we just looked at each other, and, after a bit, you pulled away.

My mouth opened, but I couldn’t force the words out as you turned and walked down the hall to where Thomas was waiting.


	10. <<10>>

We were at a party, a few months into our senior year. All four of us, the ‘Revolutionary Set’ as we liked to call ourselves, because we all some type of gay and a few years ago that was ‘revolutionary’.

A lot can change in a few years.

Herc had driven us, but he had disappeared into the night with Lafayette at some point during the party, leaving us without a ride home.

We got bored. You said you wanted to go home, and I agreed. As we were walking (yes, walking. No one else wanted to ditch so early, and we couldn’t find someone to drive us back) to Laf’s house, it started raining.

Hard.

I didn’t think anything of it. I just turned my collar up against it and started to jog. I thought you were following me, but you weren't. I noticed, and looked over my shoulder. You were standing in the light of a street lamp, frozen to the ground as another crack of thunder shook the world.

I ran back to you, and wrapped my arm around your shoulder. You looked up, brown eyes wide.

“What’s wrong?”

You didn’t answer, just shivered.

“Are you afraid of the storm?”

A nod. 

I looked around to see if there was anywhere we could take shelter, but without any luck. I took your hand.

“Okay, we’re going to run back to Laf’s house, got that? I’m right here. Nothing’s going to hurt you, but we have to get back inside.”

Another nod, and a squeeze.    
We ran as fast as we could, never breaking our grip. Whenever we heard thunder, you would freeze and I would fold you into my arms until it passed, and a few minutes more until you could go on. The wind whipped out hair in our faces as we stood, and I brushed your’s out of your eyes.

“Okay,  _ one two three run. _ ”

We got back to Lafayette’s house dripping wet. His parents weren’t home, and Herc and Laf were making out freely on the couch. Needless to say, they didn’t see us come in. I led you to the spare bedroom, and you sat on the edge of the bed. I brought towels from the guest bath, and wrapped one tightly around your shoulders.

“My mother died in a hurricane. Most of my town died in a hurricane.” you whispered.

I nodded, and sat next to you. We were out of the rain, and the house was warm, but you shivered.


	11. <<11>>

Today you and Jefferson hugged in the hallway, and held hands all through Mr. Washington’s class. He offered to carry your books, and you beamed at him.

I turned away as you kissed him right there.

Lafayette patted my shoulder. 


	12. <<12>>

You didn’t sit with us at lunch because Jefferson took you out to eat. You did stop by, briefly, at Herc and Laf’s dorm to tell us what a great week you two were having.   
And it was the happiest you’ve been in a while.  
The bruising around your eyes and nose is going down.


	13. <<13>>

 

I think you two were getting along happily for a week and a half. I think it was my fault things went sour again.  You sat next to me in English, which made me happy. Jefferson wasn’t pleased. He came in a few minutes after you, and scowled when he saw us laughing and talking.

“Alex!” he called, “Come sit with me!”

I tried to tell myself he just wanted to sit next to his boyfriend, and there was nothing strange about that. 

But the lilt to his voice seemed almost possessive.

“I’m going to sit with my friends today. Is that alright?” you asked, eyebrows knitting together despite your calm words.

Jefferson shrugged, and dropped his bag next to his seat. You relaxed like you might sink into yourself with relief.

I noticed that you were shaking.


	14. <<14>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are making me very happy rn. Thanks. :---)

You weren’t in class today (again). 


	15. <<15>>

Today you wore a turtleneck, and kept fiddling with the sleeves and collar, pulling them down and up, respectively.


	16. <<16>>

Today you didn’t talk to anyone.


	17. <<17>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah HA! 32 ChaPTerS NoW!

Today I was done. Today you didn’t show up to class again, and I walked out. Hercules and Lafayette tried to follow, but I told them to stay.  You were in your dorm, and the lights were off. As I walked towards you, a shard of glass crunched under my feet.

You shot up from where you were laying in bed, and didn’t relax when you saw that it was only me.

You were wearing boxers and a too-big sweatshirt that I knew was Jefferson’s.

I turned on the lights.

“J-John? What are you doing here?”

“Is Thomas abusing you.” I asked bluntly.

Panic. It overtook your face as soon as the words slipped from my mouth. You shut your eyes and recoiled from them as though they were-

I sat down next to you on the bed as you tried to regain your composure.

“He’s really not. I’m so lucky to have him as a boyfriend, John! I don’t deserve him! I can’t believe he’s even stuck around for this long.” you bit your lip, and dropped your head into your hands.

I was shocked, the kind that felt like a bucket of cold water had just been dropped all over me. 

“He hits you.” I whispered in disbelief.

You looked up defiantly, tears glistening in your eyes.

“He loves me. He’s the only person who is ever going  _ to _ love me.”

“That’s not true!” I argued.

Your face crumpled and tears poured from your eyes. I felt like someone had taken my heart and squeezed it.

You sobbed.

“Yes it is!”

“How can you think so little of yourself?” I whispered, bringing you close and stroking your hair as you sobbed against my chest. 

I knew I should have come sooner. I knew I should have called this out sooner. If only so that you would be just a little less broken.


	18. <<18>>

I took you to my dorm right away. I was not letting you stay there, with  _ him _ , not anymore. I could prevent you from getting hurt and, dammit, if I didn’t take every opportunity to do just that.

Neither of us went back to class that day. You sat on my lap as we watched every disney movie I owned. 

“What about your roommate?” you asked as I made up a bed on the floor.

“Ben won’t mind. He likes you.”

As I put down another pillow, there was a knock a the door. I’m sure my eyes must have hardened, because I know my heart did.

I motioned for you to stay seated as I answered it, and you did.

It was him, like I feared.

“It’s time for Alex to come home. It’s getting late.” Jefferson said breezily, trying to sidestep me to get to you.

I blocked him.

“No. He’s staying with me from now on.”

“Like hell he is. Alex!” he barked. Your head shot up so you were looking him dead in the eye. All the color that I had spent the last few hours bringing back to your cheeks left, “C’mon.”

You drew your knees up and hugged them to your chest. 

Seeing you do that...I didn’t bother arguing with him.

I just closed the door and locked it. 

I didn’t use the makeshift bed because you needed someone to hold you together that night.


	19. <<19>>

Today you were to scared to go to class. I stayed at the dorm with you. We’re running out of Disney movies.


	20. <<20>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, twelve chapters left. I wish I could find a way to extend it.

Today you said that you  _ needed _ to go back to class. I met you in the hall at the end of each one of your classes so there was no chance of you running into him alone. 


	21. <<21>>

It was a really good day. We both skipped class, but only so we could watch telly and eat Chinese take-out. You complained that I was fattening you up for some big feast in which you were the main course when you saw how much I had bought. That made me smile, because you had gained some weight and that made me happy. Your ribs weren't sticking out so much anymore. I jumped on the bed next to you, and half way through the Little Mermaid you said you hated your stomach.  
I disagree. I kissed your stomach, and you giggled because (apparently) your very ticklish. So I didn't stop.  
Your laugh is the best thing I've ever heard.


	22. <<22>>

Today we told Herc and Laf what Thomas did to you, and they cried.


	23. <<23>>

Today I noticed that your remaining bruises were healing. You were surprised when I hugged you so suddenly, but you still hugged me back.


	24. <<24>>

Today you came home crying because Jefferson approached you in the hallway, and handed you a bouquet of roses. He told you he loved you and would never hurt you again. And you walked away.  
I told you I loved you and you-you said it back.


	25. <<25>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy easter!!

Someone slipped a note under our door today. It was addressed to you. It told you to kill yourself, as if nobody loved you.

I didn’t let you read it, but when my back was turned you found it in the trash. I found you in the bathroom, crying your eyes out and clutching two things: the crumpled up note in your right hand, and a bottle of pills in your left. I had to pry them away from you.

 


	26. <<26>>

Today I saw the scars. They’re not on your arms or stomach, because I would know if they were. They’re on your legs, and some of them were too fresh for me. You couldn’t explain why you had them, you tried but the words that tumbled out of your mouth were just “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,”

How many times do I have to tell you that there’s no need to apologize for what  _ he _ did to you?


	27. <<27>>

Today I saw Thomas Jefferson in the hallway, and I punched him. He got the worst of me, but damn, hitting him felt good. 


	28. <<28>>

Today we fought. I knew Jefferson would only keep hurting you until he was brought to justice. You knew it, too. You said so.

You also said that part of you still loved him.

I went to the bar as you thought it over.


	29. <<29>>

Today we fought. I knew Jefferson would only keep hurting you until he was brought to justice. You knew it, too. You said so.

You also said that part of you still loved him.

I went to the bar as you thought it over.


	30. <<30>>

Today Hercules and Lafayette came over to our dorm to play cards and drink. Laf had a thick gold band on his finger, and they told us it was a promise ring. Given to Lafayette by Hercules so that they could be sure they would be each other’s forever. 

We toasted them, and Laf kissed Herc’s cheek.

“ _ Je t'aime tellement _ .” 

You took my hand, to my surprise, and squeezed.


	31. <<31>>

Today you went to Mr. Washington. He had always been a father figure to you, and he was the only teacher you were willing to go to.  
You weren’t ready for the police.  
While our classmates hurried on, we stayed seated. I saw Thomas’ face pale as he seemed to realize what we were going to do.  
“Mr. Washington-” he began shakily.  
Our teacher looked up from his work, and saw us patiently waiting. He smiled at you.  
“Later, Jefferson. I believe I have an appointment with Hamilton.”


	32. <<32>>

Today we went to court. You got a restraining order on Jefferson.  
He dropped out of the college before they could expel him.  
I promised that you wouldn’t have to worry about him any more. You smiled, and kissed me for the first time.  
It was just like I imagined.  
Today, all your bruises and scratches are healed.


	33. <<33>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, why not

I tightened your tie because you never could do it yourself. You grinned, and kissed my cheek.  
“I love you so much, John.”  
“You’re going to do great, Lex. You’ve done this a million times.”  
You nodded, still looking a little apprehensive.   
We heard the audience cheering, your cue to come on.  
You looked back at me once more, for good luck, before strolling onstage like you owned the place. I fiddled with my ring nervously, turning it around my finger.  
I wasn’t in the audience, but there was a small tv where I could watch you. You looked so adorable in your suit and still-crooked tie.  
“Hi. My name is Alexander Hamilton, and I’m here to talk to you about a very pressing concern, and that is domestic abuse.”


End file.
